Lapbanded Living – Getting A Fill Six Years After Lap band Surgery

As most of you know, I got my lap band in May 2004, and with the support of my surgeon and his staff, my hard work, my friends, my relatives, and the community of those with lap bands I have been able to lose 250 pounds.  I have been maintaining that weight loss within a 10 pound range for over four years now.  In June my family suffered a devastating loss and I found that I have reverted to some old, bad habits, using food to stuff my emotions.  Some pretzels here, some cookies there, just not paying attention to what or when I was eating.  I was eating mindlessly and I knew this was not healthy and was going to result in weight gain if I continued.  I didn’t like myself, I was beating myself up, even as I counseled others not to beat themselves up for straying for a day, or making a bad choice every now and then.  I felt like a failure, and somewhat of a sham.  That still didn’t stop me from going to the convenience store and grabbing a bag of pretzels.  As a matter of fact, my negative feelings about myself probably were some strange form of motivation to do exactly that.  Give myself permission to make bad choices.

Thank goodness, the one thing I did not give up was my dedication to the gym.  I was still there 5 days a week and out bicycle riding on the sixth day, taking one day off from “planned” exercise and allowing the day to unfold as it may.  This keeps me sane and is probably also what has kept my weight from creeping up despite what I have been eating.

Friday I decided that this was it.  I was on a slippery slope and not willing to fall into the hole.  I called my surgeon, made an appointment to see him on Monday afternoon, and decided I would weigh myself (which I had refused to do for over 2 months), and actually get a fill to help me get this eating in check.  I woke up Saturday and completed my plan of action by going to the gym and working out for an hour (30 minutes elliptical, 30 minutes swimming laps) instead of my usual day off, then went grocery shopping so that I could pack all of my breakfasts and lunches for the following week.

I also started eating mindfully.  Doing nothing but eating my meals- no reading, no TV, very little talking, and taking note of when I was no longer hungry and being done at that point.  Wow, in 24 hours I was 1 ½ pounds lighter.  Yes, the light bulb went off for me and I remembered how to REALLY use my tool.  Sunday afternoon I made up my breakfasts for the week as well as my lunch.  For those of you who may be interested, breakfast was seven ounces of fat free Fage Greek yogurt, with a teaspoon of vanilla, a teaspoon of Splenda, ½ cup blueberries and about a teaspoon of slivered almonds.  This totals about 185 calories with about 20 grams of protein.  Lunch was curried turkey salad made with canned turkey breast, fat free mayonnaise, lots of curry powder and chopped celery.  I used 2 cans of turkey and measured the mayonnaise so that I could get 5 portions totaling 175 calories each with about 25 grams of protein.  I packed some celery sticks to have with the turkey salad.  Sometimes I pack cherry tomatoes.  My favorites are the heirloom variety called black cherry which are red/black and taste wonderful with virtually no acid.  I get them at my farmer’s market every week.  I also packed grapes and turkey jerky just in case I needed a snack.  I had a plan, and a plan B and was determined to stick with my plans.

What I found was that I was eating about ¾ of what I served myself and then was able to walk away from the table satisfied, but about two hours later I was hungry once again.  Then I remembered, oh yeah, the processed carbs I had been eating would do that and it will take a while to get them out of my system.  Since I knew that my breakfast and lunch were under 200 calories I would allow myself to eat the unfinished portions this week while I was doing a “system overhaul”.  This, combined with a small fill would get me back in the saddle again and I could probably even take off the 15 pounds that I have been wanting to lose for the last 3 years.

Monday afternoon I headed into Dr. Billy’s office with much trepidation.  Could I figure out a way NOT to have to get on the office scale and deal with hating myself?  Nope, took off my belt, my shoes and hopped on.  The scale in my surgeon’s office is lovingly called R2D2 by those of us who climb on barefoot, hold the “arms”, listen to the music and wind up with not only our weight, but our lean body mass, body fat mass, total body water, BMI, percent body fat, segmental lean development, and the number of calories you burn in a day.  The scale does just about everything for you except choose your foods.  What did it tell me this time?  I weighed the same as I did a year ago, so I am maintaining.  Whew, that was okay.  Then when the doctor was reviewing the two page printout of R2D2’s results he told me that I had gained six pounds of muscle mass.  No, I wasn’t six pounds heavier, I had converted six pounds of my body fat mass into lean body mass…That took a lot of work in the gym, so instead of feeling big and out of control I started feeling good about myself.  It’s amazing what one little NSV can do for you, isn’t it?

I did get a little fill, have a bit more restriction today and am not hoping to lose 15 pounds, I have the plan in place to make that happen so stay tuned for more.