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There I was, my eighth holiday season after weight loss surgery reaching out for “just a little bite” of all of those evil demon holiday foods constantly thrust in front of my face within a simple grasp of my hand. Yup, that’s right. I reached….not only did I reach, but I bit….not only did I bite, but I chewed…not only did I chew, but I swallowed…A LOT!
What was different about this holiday from the 7 other holidays I celebrated without grabbing for everything that was put in front of me? In hindsight, with just a little introspection I have come to the conclusion the operating factor was MINDLESSNESS. If I wanted a taste of something, instead of a bite I grabbed a whole or a handful, took my bite and kept right on eating. I fell back into old habits of mindless eating. In previous years one bite or one taste was enough. I savored that and was done. I thought I had it licked. (pun intended). I thought I had the demon food cravings cured. Boy was I wrong!
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My food cravings were kind of in remission (like my obesity) rather than resolved. It was my resolve that was lacking this past holiday season. Am I happy about that? Will I beat myself up about it? Will I do anything about it? You bet…so listen to this…..Sandi you feel awful and you did it to yourself. You know what you did and you shouldn’t have done it…Okay, I’m done beating myself up and ready to move on to doing something about it….Hmmm, this part looks vaguely familiar….Here’s my plan:
- Remove all temptation from my house and my office
- Start journaling everything that goes into my mouth
- Plan 3 meals and 1 snack for each day this week
- Continue with my exercise program and add time if I am able
- Make sure I eat mindfully, tasting each bite, putting the fork down between bites, and chewing thoroughly
- Find an accountability partner
So how am I doing so far you ask? Here goes my self-evaluation :
- Check
- Not yet on paper (or electronically), just in my head….this needs work!
- Check
- Check -added a little swimming time because I love it and it feels good- no more elliptical time ½ hour is all my body wants to do – the pain in my arthritic knee is too much if I do more (I listen to my body and push, but within reason)
- Doing better- I give myself 80% here so more work necessary to get back to just eating- not working or reading or…..
- OK so this entire community is my accountability partner – Need to find one individual that I can bond with who will help me hold myself accountable without being judgmental. Hmmmmm..
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After a week of working my plan my body has more energy, my mood is better and my jeans are looser. All good results. I will continue to work my plan for…….the rest of my life.
This commitment to my personal health and well being is not a get to goal weight then do whatever I want. It is a commitment to LIFE for LIFE. I need to gently remind myself of that each day as I get on with the business of living. You know, all that business that I wasn’t doing (because I couldn’t) when I weighed 424 pounds just 7 1/2 years ago.
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